I know this sounds like a cliché topic and as such a chicken soup topic. But I really would like us to spend some time on this topic/concept. Here is the pyramid of getting to be happy. Like the Maslow’s pyramid of human needs. Fundamentally I hope we agree here that we all want to be happy. Over the years, in human history, happiness has been sought by all from teachers, students, parents, businessmen, millionaires to politicians. We live to seek happiness.
Being happy comes with training, train yourself to be happy.
I know how we like to feel happy, we will be happier if something happens. However, circumstances arise, things happen or don’t happen, we are reasons to be not happy, or no reasons to be happy. Train yourself to be happy. Happiness is a state of mind, its a condition of hormone dispatch, a score of body performance. We all know we perform better, think better, eat better, live better when we are happy. Seldom I hear someone say they enjoy being sad, no challenge, I did say “seldom”. Most of us don’t function as well when we sad as when we are happy. Being happy is like a red bull for mental strength, is like a booster pill for athlete. You can even equate it to a painkiller after surgery. If you think about it this way, it is something you need to do in order to extend your abilities and strengthen your physique. Ild say its like running every morning, listening to French everyday, singing in every shower, which you inculcate every day. How do you run faster than other people? How do you gain proficiency in French? How do you become a professional singer? You train yourself to become one! If you not naturally or usually a happy person, then train yourself to be one through practice!
See the happy side of things
All events have sides of view. One person will see A, another will see B. What you see from an event doesn’t represent the whole thing. We intend to think the grass over the fence is always greener. People often have regrets as a result of expectations. You often hear expressions like “I would have become this if this and this happened. God is unfair, the system is crooked, this place is not good for me”. What about the best thing that never happened to you? Rock, AAA, as we know the best actor from fast and furious, used to be a rugby player in university, at the last game which determined whether he could continue to professional play or not. He lost. But looking back, this is the best thing that ever happened to him because he is now the Rock. AAA, who played phoebe is the long-time classic soap opera “friends”, was fired from a then popular TV show AAA after 2 episodes in the first season. She was so frustrated how the best chance just came then slip away her hand. However, it was yet to be the best chance, because she was free and immediately available, she got the role to play in a new concept testing soap opera, Phoebe in Friends. (When I got to a very senior management level in a private equity fund in Hong Kong, suddenly one of our company’s partner got into some political movement trouble, therefore we lost) I remember back in the days in school, I was fat and not paying attention to appearance, dressing, all the crushes I had on guys during the period proved impossible and turned down. I thought I was so unlucky because I couldn’t have the one thing everyone dreamt of in university I could not have; a romantic relationship. Since I was not popular in school, I could use all my time to do start-ups outside school, getting internship, part time jobs. I set up my own company by the end of university. All the guys I thought were the love of my life could not graduate with half of the salary I was paid then and all the pretty and attractive girls I dreamt to be like are doing a normal 9-5 job trying to find a rich husband. All these events at the time looked like a disaster, or unhappy event. However, they turned to be the best thing that never happened. What is your best thing that never happened?
I remember reading a book called “when bad things happen”. It is a book about an Israeli doctor who became top in his practice, turned into a rabbi then preached to millions. He is a good husband, responsible doctor, understanding preacher. He never lies. He complies with every benchmark of being a good man. Just when he became influential in the preaching work and reached out to millions his son was diagnosed with incurable cancer at the age of 12. He couldn’t believe how such a thing could ever come to him and also nobody would. In every sense of karma, he doesn’t deserve that. He was very frustrated, depressed, angry at the beginning of acknowledging that. Often when such happen, we are too busy asking “why this, why me, why no” rather than facing the fact that it has happened without the possibility of rewriting and forgetting about focusing on fixing it. Bad or unfair things do happen. Bad luck or no luck do visit a person with or without you deservingg it or preparing for it. It is like the saying “every dog has its own day”.
Key 3 Being happy should be a habit
This is just like when we say we like to be surrounded by people with positive energy and smiling faces.
Key 4 You don’t need too much to be happy
Happiness is a state of mind. It is not the millions of dollars, the big house, the Mercedes Benz that can only bring you happiness. You have a choice to be happy any day of the year, any time of the day. Being happy doesn’t require a license, doesn’t require you to submit your bank statements. Being happy is the freest thing you can do and by the way nobody can take away from you. People can steal your money, time can depreciate your health, potholes can trash your car, but with happiness; you are entitled 24-7.
Happiness is contagious.
Positivity is the key
The last stage of being happy is being happy naturally, regardless of events, regardless of reason. Being happy becomes your habit, becomes part of you. You are the definition of happiness. Some of us might have read about a successful retired investment banker who came to a fishing village had a coconut water sitting on the beach, sitting next to him is a horribly dressed fisherman from this village, having a coconut as well. The businessman asked the fisherman what his dream was. I am not encouraging you to let go all objectives or goals to become worthless. When we look at the businessman and the fisherman, compare their level of happiness. Whose do you think is more? I think we pretty much all agree it would be the fisherman’s. Wait, I am not going to comment that at the end of the day, after earning all the money and buying the big yatch, it is useless. I want to say that why, the businessman after seeing the world, making all the money, providing big house for his family cannot be happier than a fisherman on an island? If he is more capable than the fisherman in doing everything else, then why is he not happy? Is being happy a more difficult task then living on the Wall Street for 20 years? Sometimes we refuse or we don’t have the confidence to recognize that we are indeed happy! I ask my friends “are you happy?” from time to time. And guess what, normally the reply comes with a delay or a vague yes and a lot of “but”. It reminds of M, M is a very famous man on this continent so I will not disclose his name here. Every time M answered me with certainty and a big smile on his face said “yes I am. It is important no?”. So my dearest audience, if I ask you, “are you happy?” What is your answer?
I hope you can let me know by reaching out to me through Class FM or my email email@example.com.